8/7

2day muet result released...
get band 3...
no more future....
wana further my studies....
wana get the course i wan...
i wan usm...
i wan um...
just wan a better future for myself..
n my family...
form 6 sucks...
ad hardwork...
but get nothing...
should i give up?
im tired...
i rili tired...
who can help me...
born in a medium family...
try hard to let parents have a better life....
so far from my ambition n target now...
where i can go anymore....
hate myself now...
wat a bad result i get...
so pressure now...

5/6/2010

我会记得这一天。。。
5/6/2010...
是继johnny去世后。。。
我人生中最痛苦的其中一天。。。。
也是最颓废。。。。
崩溃的一天！！！！！！

i wan to go...

concert...
2mr nite...
i wan...
rili wan...
almost crying everyday this week...
helpless...
rili...
no one will help me.....
no one....
even him...

adui....

competition bo chance pun....
bee...
thx for acc me go there....
let u disappointed ad...
sory....
noe u saw my blog...
but u didnt n never say anything...
thx a lot...
rili....
thx for giving me time to forget abt him....
thx for loving me....
thx for 4giving me...
thx juz bcoz u dun mind i stil miss him....
sory bee...
adui...
BEE!!!!!
SORY....
i will +u d...=)

(( emo sunday ))

早早起身....
看到一些不该看到的东西....
emo emo emo~~~
如果今天整天都是这样的情绪....
今晚应该会唱得不错吧....
很有感觉...
加油羚....
=)

14/5

bee...i miss him badly today...
sory for not telling u d truth...
bdw i noe u will view my blog...
2day ad two month right??
but within tis two month..
u r not alone in my heart...
u noe right?
actually hope tat u wont view my blog....
including him...
but i think he wont view my blog or even duno i have a blog...
malaysia lose...
i also totally lose ler a...
can let me miss him 2nite?
sunday comp ler...
rili hope tat he can attend...
but...
if he attend i rili can perform well???
i wonder...
ling...
wake up...
no more him in ur mind...
summore dun view his profile again n again...
n see how sweet he n his galfren are...
dun get hurt anymore...
its enough...
please...
dun suffer anymore...
n solve d problem between bee n u now!!!
ling...
i beg u...
ling very tired...
ling ad exhausted...

伪装...

我是这样吗？？

明明很想哭，却还在笑。

明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。

明明很想留下，却坚定的说要离开。

明明很痛苦，却偏偏说自己很幸福。

明明忘不掉，却说已经忘了。

明明放不下，却说他是他，我是我。

明明舍不得，却说我已经受够了。

明明说的是违心的假话，却说那是自己的真心话。

明明眼泪都快溢出眼眶，却高昂着头。

明明已经无法挽回，却依旧执着。

明明知道说这样的话会伤害他，却忍着心疼装作轻松的说出口。

明明知道自己很受伤，却说你不必觉得欠我的。

明明这样『伪装』着很累，却还得依旧……

对不起...

对不起....
伤了你一次又一次...
或许你真的说对了...
你倒霉...
在我还没有忘记他之前爱上我...
真的对不起...我也不想这样....
真的不知道我该说写什么....
刚才看到他和他女友的对话....
心很酸....
看到你这样...
心很痛....
明知道他已经过着没有我的生活....
和他女友很恩爱....
可是就是不能忘...
我也不能控制...
对不起...
启健...
我真的不值得你这样对我...
真的不值得...
我不知道我可以给你什么....
我知道你对我很失望...
也怨我当初还没准备好就接受你...
我只能说对不起....
对不起....
我会尽快解决我的问题....
挚友两条路吧...
单身...
还是你....
至于他....加油呱....
你会尊重我的选择对吗?
希望你会....
真的不想再伤害任何人....
也不想麻烦任何人...
想自己一个人承担...
给我一点时间....
对不起...
今天终于把心里的话七七八八告诉你了....
对不起...
我知道真的伤你很深....
对不起...
对不起....
不值得...
今天天气....雨....

伤人最深的不是爱情，是回忆

saw a note at facebook...
like it very much...

((伤人最深的不是爱情，是回忆))

曾经以为自己是个很坚强的人，即使失去爱情，也可以活出自己的精彩，其实不是，我不明白为什么人总要在经历一些事情之后才能多了解自己一点，如果一切都可以避免，就不会这么伤心了……

　　我丢掉了我的爱情……

　　曾经以为自己是世界上最幸福的人，即使失去一切，我还有爱情，其实不是，直到有一天他和我说他不爱我的时候我就知道一切都是自己在骗自己，以为自己真的找到了懂得爱自己的人，谁知那个人却不是他……

　　我丢掉了我的心……

　　曾经以为自己没心没肺，即使受过伤害，也会很快忘记做回快乐的自己，其实不是，到处都是他留下的记忆，越想忘记，反而会记得越深，每一次想起都会让自己很痛很痛……

　　我丢掉了我的快乐……

　　曾经听说过做一个女人的最高境界是可以分配自己的感情，40% 的爱情，50%的亲情，10%的其它感情，所以聪明的女人即使失去了爱情，也不会是一无所有。

但我现在是真的一无所有……

　　我丢掉了我自己……

　　曾经以为伤我们最深的是爱情，其实不是，时间可以治疗爱情留下的痛，却带不走深刻在脑海里的记忆。没有了爱情，却仍然记得你第一次说爱我，第一次牵我的手，第一次吻我，第一次叫我亲爱的，第一次叫我宝贝er，第一次叫我老婆大人……所带给我满心的感动与幸福……

　　我丢不掉回忆……

　　曾经以为自己很富有，其实不是，我丢掉了爱情，丢掉了心，丢掉了快乐，丢掉了自己，唯一丢不掉的只有回忆……

　　原来有许多原来我不懂……

moody......

very bored 2day..
+ moody...
=(
ling kenot cry..
be tough!!

tired + bo syok...

tcc sick these days...
so worry...
but finally recover d...
so happy...
three days bo go to sch liao...
finally he can go d...
summore sukan tara...
damn tired...
muet exam like shit...
so sad actually...
=(
period 2day...
very tired...
saw smtg tis afternoon...
damn bo syok eh...
shit...
same same is ur gf...
but y DAI YU so different??
suffer till like hell...
dun show off in front of me...
i hate it...
u never fetch me to qmall b4..
never hold my hand...
i accident u oso duno y ....
never chat with me even just post something on my wall...
wat u scare...
paise for???
not dare to post on my wall???
didnt make any sense if just write msg in FB for me...
so paise to me my boyfren??
y u wan to let me suffer like tis??
but..her wall full of ur comment...
WAT THE FUCK...
btw...pls treat ur JOANNE gud...
duwan to let another gal suffer like me...
so please..
i beg u...
i duno y im so angry...
who can tel me??

these days oways dig actually..
but someone say he bo...
so sad...
y these days so moody...
full of homework...
summore fucking maxis kenot deliver my msg...
so bad luck...
ma de...
sick soon...=(

sick

few days didnt write my blog d...
bz + lazy these days..
well...
last saturday singing comp...
d whole week bz hang out with them sing k la...
chun chyn's hse la...
n finally ended...=)
darling...u had done a gud job..
dun worry..=)
just stupid judges...
they sing till like tat oso can get d prize...
i mean groups d la of course...
my hse d tuna n honey oso gone..haha
yesterday very suffer...
bec early from school...
he fetch me to c doctor...
ANG...
damn it...
say ntg...medic pun not given....
wasting my time...
but so painful for d whole morning + noon!!!
cry non stop + shout just bcause of pain...
argh...
at nite dad bring me to another clinic again...
FA YAN!!!
siao liao..stupid ANG...noob doctor...
n ate medicine...
quite ok now...
n thx mr teoh becoz of my bad tempered when sick...
stil take care of me...
sayang many many...
n saturday MUET exam...
so scare...
ang gong poh pi...
n got ppl ah...
say after finish wan bring me go kai kai a...
willing to noe go where..haha...
忘记一个人的方法就是不要努力去忘记...
顺其自然最好...=)
erm...
wana tel someone...
wish u sweet swett with ur new target...
next time check for d map b4 go queensbay..XD
v r stil frens right..=)

This blog is open to invited readers only

"This blog is open to invited readers only"...
i hate it...

B•L•O•G

rili rili hope tat no one will c my blog...
so wat oso can wirte here...
so very seldom tel ppl i had opened a new blog...
rili wish to noe who is tat "某人"...
jar?
saturday will u go?
if got go duno will disturb diok tcc bo...
aiks...
emo + fan now...
oso hope tat u wont noe i will visit n c ur blog...
gud nite everyone..=)

11/4

今天的淑羚不及格....
不小心听到"爱很简单" + "我知道"~~~
想起一些事情~~~
为什么总是每个星期一定免不了有这样的事情发生?
不是你看女生讲女生我都无所为...
只是想给你一点空间...
可是别过分好吗?
说不在意是骗你的吧....
可是没什么资格说你...
我自己的事都还没解决....
还比你严重...
所以就...算了吧..=)

时间...

时间会冲淡一切...
不必特地去忘记..
淑羚要坚强...
你做得到..=)
启健也要加油...
你也做得到..^^
想你.....

colby's birthday

well...
just finish celebrate with tcc at penang on saturday...
a bit disappoointed actually....
coz my plan fail liao...=(
by the way...
he was happy..^^
he cried when saw d cd player..
n surely got gingerman..=)







took inside padini fitting room~~

saw a dress at kitschen...
dindt buy....
manatau yesterday colby told he he had smtg to do during d afternoon...
guan lai he went to qb to buy d dress..
siao liao..
n gave it to me just now..
dam touch actually...

P.M~~~Mr Fuyor pls be punctual n dun be late...

♥ New begin••new life ♥

create a new blog...
delete d old blog..=)
4get d old life...
enjoy d new life...
yeah~~~